Saying Good-bye to Grandpa

Grandpa and me in May 2009 Grandpa and me in May 2009

I had an unusual and wonderful time today. I knew this morning that Grandpa was not doing well and would not be alive much longer. It was so important to me to get to the nursing home to see him again.  We got there around 9:30A and stayed there until 1:30P. 

 He and I have been seeing each other more in the past two months, than we did for many years.  I looked forward to seeing him every single time because he started really seeing me.  In the past, he didn’t know how to interact with me, so he would either ignore me or talk loud to me.  But since he has gotten very ill, his view of me has opened, so he can see me. Those of us who struggle in our bodies from a very young age, often find those who are elderly to better relate to us.  If they don’t pity us, but can see us for who we are, we heal.  For me and Grandpa there became an understanding. When I sent him cards the hospice nurse said he valued them so much.  He couldn’t believe that I would notice him. He always thought he needed to care for me.

I look forward to going to heaven when it’s my time.  I don’t fear death.  I know some people think they need to shelter me, because I might not handle it too well when someone is dying, but I think I am as real as anyone in the room.  I live with death nearby.  It’s not frightening to me. I understand that in heaven I am free.  I’m not stuck in this body that has given me so many struggles.  I was glad to be there today.  Grandpa was able to put his arm against my leg while I rested it on his bed.  He seemed to find comfort in it.  I told him good-bye and that I would see him in heaven.  I hope he goes without struggling so much.  There is little to stay here for.  I love what has become of a long and difficult relationship.  I feel peace and I wish Grandpa the same.  He will see me soon through new eyes. 

 Go in peace Grandpa. I love you.

Karly

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4 Responses so far »

  1. 1

    bethanycrossley said,

    This is beautiful Karly. Birth and death bring new beginnings in all of our lives. They open doors of opportunity of more learning and growth, of more becoming who God intended for us to become. I am glad you and your grandpa created some memories together to cherish!

  2. 2

    Pops said,

    Karly, I am glad you were able to enjoy some visits these last few months with Grandpa. It was very touching to hear about Dads reaction to your cards and visits. It’s wonderful you were able to have these interactions, and you felt his love for you. We all have said how Dad changed this last year. He used to reserve most of his displays of affection through Mom, (not a bit hugger), but after he was alone he actually seemed to enjoy a hug once in awhile.

    Thanks for your visit on Friday, and comforting Grandpa in his transition.

    And, thanks for Olivia’s gift.. and Fathers Day!
    Dad

  3. 3

    Renee Martin said,

    Dear Karly,

    You don’t probably know me, but I use to go to meeting with your parents when you were born.

    What a beautiful letter to your grandpa and how wonderful to be able to know what you are feeling. I remember the day you were born and how one Wed. night our little baby boy had learned how to use his voice in a high pitched scream and decided to try it out in Bible Study at Postma’s and because the two of you were sleeping in your carseats in the room next to the living room, he woke you up. It wasn’t that he was crying or mad, but he’d just figured out how to use this part of his voice and was trying it out.

    I did not know you were able to communicate like you can. That is so wonderful to know. You do an excelent job of expressing yourself. I will see you at your grandpa’s funeral tonight, and will see you in a way I have never known exists. You are a wonderful person, and I just loved reading your blog to your grandpa.

    Love,
    Renee Martin

  4. 4

    TIM HAYES said,

    KARLY ,, I DON’T KNOW IF YOU REMEMBER ME ,,BUT I MET YOU AND YOUR MOM AT GREELEY NURSING HOME aka ” THE PIT ” THE DAY BEFORE YOUR GRANDPA DIED ,, I COMMUNICATE WITH THE PAPER POINT BOARD ,,,,,,,,,,, ANYWAYS KARLY ,,,,,,,, I DONT KNOW HOW YOU FEEL ABOUT WANTING TO HELP THE MEDICAL COMMUNITY TO EVENTUALLY FIND CURES FOR OUR RESPECTIVE DISEASES ,, BUT I AM ALL FOR IT ……… THAT IS WHY I URGE YOU TO , IF YOU HAVEN’T ALREADY ,, TO CHECK OUT THIS WEB SITE ClinicalTrials.gov

    LOVE TIM


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