This past weekend was full of training for my Mom. We hired a new woman to be with us for a few months until her sister returns from Australia. I love her. I want to see her more often. She will be with me two weekends each month. For those of you who do not have caregivers in your lives, I thought I could share something that might give you some insight.
We have had some absolutely wonderful women in our lives over my lifetime. It was just my Mom until I was five years old. Then my aunt Martha came a few hours each week. It gave us an idea of what is was like to have people in our home caring for me. She made it easy because she was family. She was with me a few years until it was time for her to go back to school. We have had people over my life who have been friends who worked for us to care for me. It has been a few years now since we have hired friends. Usually they are strangers or friends of people we know. We don’t live near a college or in the city, so it’s hard to find people. They have to drive to our house.
We have some women who have been with us for many years. Since we are dependent on a team of women to assist me, it is always an effort to keep a full team. It is not easy to find new people. It takes a long time to give them all the information they need to know. It is not something that is easy for my Mom to do anymore. She has trained so many people in over my lifetime, and we have tried to welcome everyone. We have had women who have hurt me when my Mom wasn’t here. We have had people steal from us. One of them took my Mom’s credit card and with her husband got a lot of money. They were not convicted because they knew how to not get caught, but the police had proof that it was her that stole my Mom’s credit card. She is a massage therapist, and cared for me many hours every week. She brought her husband into our home when my Mom wasn’t here. I had a young woman step on my hand and try to cover it up when my Mom noticed the blood and bruising. I got swung so hard in my swing that I hit the post, and got a dark bruise over my back.
If I didn’t need people to come into my life and help care for me, I would be glad. There have been many times that I wasn’t able to share with my Mom what it was like for me when she wasn’t here because I wasn’t being abused, but the person I was with was very difficult to be around. I love many of the women who have cared for me over my life, so I don’t want to have you think that all people are like that, but I am still opening up my life and our families lives to other people. They often cause concern and at times great joy.
I have written a lot about caregivers lately. It has been a time of grief in our lives related to two people who have left their wounds. My Mom and I spend a lot of time together now, and I love that, but it still takes many people to care for me. Some people say they are interested and can’t wait to come and work with me, and then never call again. If that happened to them, it would probably upset them, but somehow, it is acceptable. Families are affected greatly by people who are in their lives. If they are irresponsible, disrespectful, have no boundaries around acceptable involvment it is difficult for us.
I want to end by saying, thanks to the wonderful women who I have in my life now and have had in the past, who have shown me great respect and care and love. You made our lives better. Thank you.