Hope For the Future

It has been a bewildering week. The main caregiver I had during the week left and hasn’t called us, so we don’t know what the problem is.  I counted on her for 9 months.

I am expected to be comfortable around my caregivers.  If they only knew what I have experienced at the hands of caregivers in my lifetime, they would be amazed that I could trust at all.  Yet, in their need to be respected, they expect me to just go along with them.

They see me in my most difficult times and are with me in my times of accomplishment and great joy.  I never see them in their private lives.  I only see them in my home.  They are very eager to keep their lives private.  They are at our table for family celebrations and with me at the Dr when I am too weak to hold my head up.  My life is open to them.  They expect it.  I don’t understand how that level of involvement can be so easily dismissed by them. 

I am wondering if I am only a source of income for many people. They say the right words to my Mo, but their actions deceive them.  It is hard to count on people who are so heartless. They expect respect and trust from us, but are so disrespectful and act unworthy of trust.  It is incredible that there are people like that provding care to those of us whose very lives are dependent on them.

My hope for today is to find someone who is eager to be with me, who sees my talents and want to help me to be the best person I can be.  My Mom is that person for me, and we need help. It is too much for her alone.  I need people who care and would NEVER walk away without saying goodbye, who think to much of me and themselves to leave us hanging, wondering what happened.  Someone who doesn’t come with so many burdens of their own that they don’t know how to involve themselves in my life in a healthy way.

I have many reasons to be alive.  I don’t want to be a burden to anyone. So my hope and prayer for today is to find someone who is eager to be my helper. Someone who can see that my life is valuable…as much as their own. That God has given me a great family and friends and a beautiful little horse, who has cats!  Someone who wants to be involved.

Please come quickly.



4 Responses so far »

  1. 1

    Terri said,

    hi karly,

    i’m sorry that you were disrespected like that. i’m glad you’ve got someone in your life like your mom, but you’re right that it’s too much for one person. (actually, that’s true of anyone…we all need a lot of different people in our lives rather than only one or two.) i hope you find that person who can be with you in helpful and respectful ways very soon. peace…

  2. 2

    Sandy said,

    I am very sad for you right now. I cannot imagine someone just walking away with no explanations. I hope the search for someone new finds yeilds the perfect match. That person is out there, hopefully now is the time that you finally find each other. If there is anything I can help you and your mom with, I’m only a phone call or e-mail away!

  3. 3

    bethanycrossley said,

    Karly, I am grateful for our visit! I hope this is just another little bump in the road that will propel you onto further and greater achievements….that this trial will not break your spirit but will hasten your step forwards. I love you!

  4. 4

    Darby said,

    Jenna has lost a few therapists that she has loved in the past so I know how hard it is to finally find someone you care for, have them in your life for a while, and then lose them suddenly. Jenna’s first physical therapist was like family to us. We saw her for a year and a half before she retired. We all knew it was coming and we all cried together when she left. Jenna just lost her speech therapist suddenly and ironically, without a word. I wish I could come right over and be there with you. I hate that you’ve gone through so much dealing with these people that think it’s okay to treat someone so horribly just because they are a little different. My dream is to become an occupational therapist and I’m still studying for that. I would never dream of walking out like that. These people need to stop thinking of their kids as patients and start thinking of them as family. Keep your spirits up and know that you will find someone who will care for you with their whole heart as opposed to their paycheck. *hugs again* We love you!

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